it all gets a bit much.
Now is one of those times. I want to be filling my blog with wonderful Christmas Gift Guides for you. I want to be more proactive in finding a suitable special needs school for my son. I want to be filling out my SEN Appeal form. I want to recover quicker from my operation. I want to be ringing the relevant people and writing the relevant letters for my formal complaint. I want to be raring to go and ready for my weekend away with the girls this weekend.
I am finding it really difficult to do any of those things right now.
I think I have been “falling” for a while and finally hit that place called rock bottom. So much going on in my life right now and I want to keep up, I am trying so hard to keep up but I hold my hands up and admit I am struggling!
If rock bottom is where I am at then I can take a positive from that. There is only one way to go and that is UP!
I really want my blog to be better than it is. I am proud of myself for what I have achieved with it so far…. but I want it to be better! I have lots of posts to catch up on… just no motivation.
I visited a special needs school last week and am visiting another next week so its not as if nothing is being done to find Xavier a suitable setting, things just aren’t moving quick enough for my likings! I want him happy and settled… but i want that YESTERDAY!
I am so sick and tired of filling out forms and making phone calls regarding school/complaints/incidents/statement etc. I never want to see another one again in my whole entire life but sadly that is not going to happen! It is never ending and makes me so bloody incredibly cross that I have to fight so damn hard to the point of exhaustion. Why? Just because my son is clever doesn’t mean he can cope with a mainstream school. He very clearly can’t. Why is there such a lack of schools in this area that can cater for my sons needs or just why is there such a lack of special needs schools when there is huge a huge demand for them?
I had a laparoscopy done just over 2 weeks ago and it has knocked me for six. I thought I would be back to running around and doing all the things I normally do …. but Im not. I feel exhausted and old. I can’t do those things and the fact I can’t is making me feel incredibly useless! I know I need to take it easy but its hard when there is so much to do!
I am going away with 2 of my sisters and 3 other girls for a girly weekend to centre parcs this weekend. I haven’t decided what I am taking yet, done no washing for it, just not prepared at all and again no motivation! I need a slap I think as many mums would give a limb to be away for a weekend child free!! Its not that I don’t want to go… I do! We went 2 years ago and I had the funniest weekend ever!! I just cannot seem to shake this miserable fog that is hanging over my head!! I know I will be fine once we get going!! I refuse to be a moody old bag all weekend. I need this break.
So please bear with me. I will be back on track and running on full steam again soon.